Yep. You read that correctly. YOU, dear reader. It’s YOUR lucky day! A free pair of panties, now heading your way. Now, these are only symbolic in nature, so don’t get yours in a twist. I needed a hook for my title when I came across this:
Hell, yeah! Free panty, people! Rise up! If ever a more genius marketing scheme was hatched, I’d like to see it. Talk about a cure all? Got an ugly appointment to face? Free panty! The doom and gloom of dating life got you down? Free freaking panty! I dare say, there’s not much in life that couldn’t be improved by the mere thought of free panty.
So naturally, as I’ve been stewing on the task of how to raise awareness about our fast approaching blogmeet, I thought it necessary to reach out and grab you. Not just reach out and grab you, but a way to reach out and grab you in exactly the right place.
How about coming to a killer extended drunken barbecue on a beautiful private bank of the Guadalupe River? How about floating the day away under steady sun showers to sing along songs? What about washing away your woes in the crystal blue waters of central Texas? You, my blog brethren, your blown star bastard child is crying for you. Do not deny us your milky teet. We need you, especially You, to come.
And yeah, I know it’s a commitment and all. (Brutal, the c word) It’s happening the weekend before the Fourth of July. I can think of no better place to let your freak flag fly in celebration of all that is independence, and freedom, and beauty. After all, aren’t those the common threads of our kindred tapestry? Are we more than an elastic band of silken tongues? Sharing the fruit of our loons?
Come to Texas. June 27th to 29th. San Antonio is the closest major airport. Blown eye shuttle service available from there. Accommodations have already been arranged for you. For more info and cost, drop me an email at supergurl (at) supergurl.net or speak your beef in the comments. I could give a rip, I’m getting a free panty!
And if all that doesn’t do it for you, I personally will provide yours truly with a fabulous gift of free panty just for coming. I love you that much. So speak up ya’ll. Who’s in?
Entries (RSS)
April 14th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Free panty? I didn’t even know it was being held prisoner.
Head south? … in July? … in Texas? I think not.
April 15th, 2008 at 5:11 am
It’s hard/makes me sad to read about Blown Eye Blodgemeets I can’t go to. It truly madly deeply sucks…and not one of those embrace the suck sucks…it’s a kick the crap out of this suck suck.
April 15th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I’m in. Me and Running Behind will be there with our freak flags flyin’! Oh, and Erica? I might even have one of those Stale Arty nearbeers you was downin’ like water last year, just especially in your honor!
April 15th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Does the offer include the Hillary Clinton industrial strength reinforced steel size?
April 15th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I’m in too. Make sure you bring enough panties for everyone ;D
April 15th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
What color are the panties?
April 16th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
You have your choice, Dick. Yellow or brown. B-)>
April 17th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
As you already know, I’ll be there.
April 17th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I’d be in your panties, but for lack of finances and available time.
Yeah, I know, story of your damned life, right?
April 17th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I’ll be there. Save me some panties.
April 18th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Are they edible?
Maybe the wife will come but alas, I will most likely be shackled to a grill cooking for bitter gun-totin’ rednecks like myself.
April 18th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Richard – When you could be shackled to a grill cooking for drunken Blown-Eyed Blodgers instead.
April 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Denny–
I’d be there if you could guarantee my being shackled to a girl. (Oh wait, that was “grill” — well, never mind.)
April 19th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
.. hmmmm…..
April 20th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Alas me lass, tis not to be this season.
But I have high hopes for next year!
April 21st, 2008 at 7:52 am
that ad’s almost as well written as the one i posted from starbucks.
what the h*ll is a panty? the singular form is a “pair of panties”. one does not say “i’m putting on my panty.” especially not one such as myself.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:38 am
I’m really lookin’ forward to meetin’ y’all. Seriously!
April 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 am
CharlieDelta’s going, too? Gott damn. Shoot me now. Next thing you know, Dudley1’s gonna be flying down, too, and then I’m really gonna feel like crap. You better take lots of photos! Because I am depressed I can’t go and that is the only thing that will make me feel better.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Ack! I cannot! I so wish I could.
I’m in Orlando the middle of June, and then I leave again July 3 for Canada. I just cannot fit it in the middle!
But hey- Grill a few panties for me, will ya?
April 26th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Count ‘Pup and I in…we ain’t afeered a’no Texas heat…
April 27th, 2008 at 11:18 am
At this point, let me offer up a qualified “Maybe.” Just Damn!